So I now have a finished script!
After editing and cutting down my text, I now have 12 minutes of performance which I am really excited and pleased about!
Greek Cypriot, that’s me.
Come onto stage with Greek Music playing, busting a few traditional Greek moves.
Well that was fun wont It. So as you all know I’m Natasha Nicolaou, well that’s what you all believe I’m called anyways. In fact my name is Anastasia, Anastasia to be precise.
Sit down on park bench.
Now you’re all looking at me thinking, what am I talking about.
Well basically to get christened in the Greek Orthodox Church you have to have a Greek name. Natasha isn’t very Greek so that’s where Anastasia comes from.
So I’m Natasha on my Birth Certificate and Anastasia on my christening certificated.
Named after my Yiayia which means grandma in Greek. I’ve never ever called my Grandma, Grandma but anyways she’s the first Anastasia, I’m the second Anastasia, My cousin is the 3rd Anastasia and her daughter is the 4th Anastasia. We’ve all got the bloody same name. Greeks and their traditions.
Couldn’t they think of anything else?
At gatherings when someone says Anastasia we all turn around. Hopefully my family decides to not breed anymore Anastasias. Seriously.
I just prefer to be called Natasha anyways, nice simple and easy.
So as you all know by now I’m Greek
And my family are from the little Mediterranean island called Cyprus.
Not bloody Greece. They are two very different places. No matter how many times I tell people I’m not from Greece they still assume I am.
Well no I’m not, I’m from Cyprus which makes me Greek Cypriot. And I’m very proud I must say.
Gets up and walks over towards the picnics. Sits down on the left picnic.
But yeah, as you can see guys, there’s some Greek bits and bobs in front of you. Some of my favourite selections.
We’ve got some traditional Greek Salad with feta cheese seasoned with Cypriot olive oil, lemon and salt.
You’ve got some Haloumi with slices of pita which will go lovely with dips such as tzatziki and hummus.
You’ve got some traditional olives all the way from Cyprus.
And one of my favourites Koupebia, vine leaves with seasoned rice inside. The Greeks from Greece call them Dolmades but to us there called Koupebia. There beaut, I don’t think mine are as nice as my Yiayias you can’t beat hers but there ok I suppose.
If you all would like to fix yourself a plate and help yourself. I’m going to grab myself one as well. Don’t mind if I do.
Grab a plate of food and start eating some.
Mmmm this is actually lovely…
Oh my god, right there’s this one Greek Guy I know, he’s a bit weirdo. Loves the gym very muscly like massive too big for my liking but anyways he’s called Hercules. Trust me I didn’t believe it when I first heard it.
I remember asking him so what’s your name and he was like Hercules and I was like ahhh hilarious… nah seriously what’s your name? And he was like Hercules and I was like Hercules Hercules Hercules, what’s your dad called Zeus?
He was not impressed but come on how was I supposed to know. You just wouldn’t name your son Hercules would you? Come on.
I’d rather be the 100th Anastasia in my family any day. But I suppose each to their own.
Pick up the plate and eat some more food.
So the biggest insult you can ever give to a Greek person is asking them whether they are Turkish. Ergh No I’m not Turkish. We hate that with a passion. Hate it.
Where this stems from is in 1974 the troops from Turkey invaded the North of Cyprus and the island is now divided in to two half’s. The Turkish side and the Greek side. Before the invasion many of my relatives such as my yiayias lived on that side. I’ve heard the stories that it was absolutely beautiful and we had the best beaches over there. A lot of my family had to find new homes as they were banished from that side of the country. Many of the people who lived over there became refugees and thousands were left homeless and left for dead.
42 years later and it is still very raw for many people. The saddest part is The Greek Cypriots and Turkish Cypriots all lived in harmony beforehand. They were friends, neighbours. One of my yiayias best friends was Turkish.
I have never crossed over to the Norther part of Cyprus until last year. I was on holiday visiting family and my auntie asked me if I would like to see what it was like. So first things first if you wanted to drive across the borders you would have to pay a fee to the Turkish troops which I find absolutely disgusting. So me and my auntie walked across. We had to show them our passports and once they had seen our surname and realised we were Greek Cypriot we were treated so differently. I just felt uncomfortable to be honest.
Walking through I could see the damage of the buildings and how mistreated they were. The writing on the signs were no longer Greek they were Turkish. Everyone kept of staring at us and watching us. Even though I wasn’t there when all this war had happened, crossing over the borders upset me and I couldn’t imagine what these people had went through. We won’t allowed to buy anything to cross back over with because they would search you and confiscate it from you. There was so many rules. I remember switching on my mobile phone and receiving a text message from my network provider, Vodafone… Welcome to Turkey. I was furious, was that some sort of a joke. I’m sorry but we are in Cyprus not Turkey. I was raging. I was ready to go back.
Like don’t get me wrong, I’m not one of those people who think all Turkish Cypriot people are bad, of course not. There are good and bad in people in every race. Like I have friends who are Turkish Cypriot but that’s all it could ever be is friends.
Eat food guy’s help yourself, don’t be shy.
Walk over to the Microphone.
So being at university now is brilliant, I get time to myself, the freedom away from my family, even though I love them so much they can sometimes be annoying and everyone know each other’s business.
Well obviously as you lot know, being a 3rd year Drama student is not easy. There is loads of work and sometimes you don’t even have time to catch up and do things for yourself.
Well my mother loves to ring me every day. And there will be times when I can’t answer the phone, so guaranteed she will leave me a voicemail saying..
Do an impression of my mum.
Hi Natasha, It’s your mother. The woman who gave birth to you. If you remember who I am. I’m just ringing to catch up with you. I haven’t heard from you since yesterday. It’s been ages. I know your busy but ring me when you can… if I’m still alive.
Headache. Greek Mothers are so dramatic.
Walk back over to the park bench.
My friends are always saying to me, I wish I had a big family like yours it must be amazing. You’re all so close. Yeah it is wicked don’t get me wrong but it can have its limits.
Every Sunday is family day, and when I say family day not just mum dad brother me its everyone. Me mum dad aunties uncles yiayias cousins nephews niece pehhhhh. And you can imagine that does get annoying, there’s 52 Sundays a year which is approximately 1248 hours with them lot. Bloody hell.
And if I miss one Sunday I’ll have my yiayia on my case
Impression of my Yiayia.
Natasha you no love me no more you no come see me.
It’s like come on yiayia give it a wrest don’t be like that.
Everything is the end of the world for these lot.
Then when I do go my yiayia is always on my case.
Impression of my Yiayia.
Natasha mou, when you going to find a nice Greek boyfriend none of this rif raf.
Ergh Jesus Christ. It’s like when I’m ready yiayia.
Thank god. Thank god proxenia don’t exist anymore. Proxenia is basically arranged marriage my yiayias had it. Yeah there happy enough but bloody hell if it was up to them I’d probably end up with someone like Stavros Flatly. No thanks.
Talking in Greek.
Kalimera ise kala di kamnede.
Yes I speak fluent Greek and my friends are always like that’s amazing teach me. And I’m thinking mate yeah I speak Greek but I had to go to bloody Greek school every Saturday without fail. While everyone had plans to go out and have fun I was stuck in bloody Greek school. Normal school Monday to Friday, Greek Schools on Saturday and Family Day on Sunday! Brilliant.
On that note I think I need a shot!
Who would like to try one of the famous Greek Shots of Ouzo.
Get the shots of Ouzo from behind the stage.
So after 3 I want us to raise our glasses and instead of saying cheers say opa and then drink!
The Greek music comes on and I leave the stage with it playing.